Falling in Love with Jesus in the Eucharist

This column was written by Clare Tupta. Clare is a member of the Basilica of the Co Cathedral of the Sacred Heart Parish and a student at Ave Maria University majoring in theology.

I heard once in a talk on vocations given at my college that I am at the “age of falling in love”. I found this to be an interesting way to put it, but I understand the point the speaker was making. As a junior in college, I am in a unique place of intentionally contemplating and praying for openness to God’s will for my life. Whether that be a call to natural marriage and motherhood, to a life of total consecration as a religious sister, whatever it may be, it is all about where I will best live out union with my Beloved during this lifetime. If you consider it this way, every single one of us, no matter age or marital status, is at the age of falling in love, namely, with He Who is Love.

Living out union with Our Beloved is the very reason for our existence. In perceiving that we were created in the Imago Dei, the “Image of God”, we come to terms with this. We have been created as human beings by Being Himself. It is important to recognize we are human beings, not human doings. In accepting this, we are able to recognize our life purpose to a greater degree, that is, “to love and be loved”. The fundamental way we do this while on earth is through devotion to Our Lord in the Eucharist.

Growing up, I was catechized well. I was exposed to Eucharistic devotions such as adoration, processions, and fervent prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. As a young child I remember being beyond delighted when I thought about receiving my first Holy Communion, mindful of the saints I read about and how they spoke of the Eucharist as the greatest treasure. I was so excited to share in this treasure. As a child, loving our Lord was simple. It was clear to me that my call was to love God.

As I grew in age, I simultaneously grew in the awareness that the world was not under the primary mission of loving God. Our fallen world draws further and further away from peace, from reverence, and from the recognition that our lives are not about ourselves. I encountered this as I grew into adolescence and, as a result, shifted my focus from what was most important to what others thought of me, my personal comforts being met, and worldly goods as a whole. Instead of allowing the visible to point me to the invisible, I began seeking my end in the visible. Nevertheless, I remained faithful to praying and attending Sunday Mass. Yet, in a way, I compartmentalized God. I had not given Him my total self, but rather, only those parts of me that appeared better than others, the parts that were easy to surrender.

Soon after this, I was faced with the reality that Jesus’ entire life on earth was about me and, therefore, it only makes sense that my entire life is about Him. Coming to terms with this hurt. It involved immense suffering. A real death had to take place. However, it is only in dying to ourselves that we can allow Christ to live in and through us. And here is where my journey to falling in love with Jesus in the Eucharist began.

Like most everyone, the spring of 2020 consisted of monumental life shifts. The biggest one being the absence of weekly reception of the Blessed Sacrament. The saying, “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”, though cliché, rendered absolutely true. I distinctly remember kneeling before our television screen on Sunday mornings reciting the spiritual communion prayer with an ache inside of me. I knew that Our Lord was present in the midst of my prayers, but in the absence of His physical Presence, there was a real lack. I recognized that not only did I long for Our Lord in the Eucharist, but I hungered for Him, signifying a true need. Not only this, but my own hunger led me to experience how infinitely greater was His hunger for me.

In the hours I have spent before Our Lord in Adoration, I often have contemplated why, of all things, He has chosen to come to us in the form of bread. Jesus Who I know to be the Son of God appears before me in a simple, flavorless Host. I realized that God’s purpose in veiling Himself is not to hide from us, but rather to reveal profound truths about Himself. Namely, how great He is and how little I am. In my littleness, I could not handle any more than the utmost humbleness of appearance. Therefore, it only makes sense that the proper response on my part is the utmost reverence, the utmost love in receiving Our Lord.

I am still learning what this means and will spend my whole life learning what it means to love my Beloved. Yet, what a dignified call this is. What a gift it is to be received into His Own Life through the reception of Holy Communion. The taste of eternity lies before me, how can I seek fulfillment elsewhere?